Gritty or quitty?

We’re told that “winners aren’t quitters” but I reckon the real winners in life and leadership know when to grit AND when to quit.

I’ve become a mad fan of quitting, especially when nothing’s ‘wrong’ or ‘broken’, doing it for the opportunity of new and better, even when what we have is what many would wish for.

Our brains are wired for scarcity and we fear anything that feels like we are giving up on certainty. We’d rather take an endlessly additive approach and keep putting stuff in and saying yes until we’re full to bursting and burnt to a crisp!

Fellow mid-lifer, ex-professional gambler turned author, and corporate consultant, Annie Duke says this in her book ‘QUIT: The Power of Knowing When To Walk Away’:

“When people quit on time, it will usually feel like they are quitting too early, because it will be long before they experience the choice as a close call.”

This is something it took me a long time to learn. In the past I know there were times when it went far beyond the close call Duke refers to. Times when I hung in there way too long with relationships, friendships, jobs, unhealthy habits, and limiting mindsets. I was afraid of the stories I thought others would have about me, of the drama I felt sure would ensue, of the loss of all I’d sunk into ‘the thing’, and that quitting would feel like giving up.

But over time, I began to live by the idea that it doesn’t have to all be wrong to not be right. I learned that quitting and giving up are NOT the same thing. I learned how to trust my intuition, support it with logic and good decision making methods, and just have the guts to quit things because that was the right thing FOR ME, regardless of what others might think.

I believe building our quitting muscle is a super important part of navigating the Midlife Turning Point and accessing the power of this time to rewire our minds, redesign our lives, and rework our leadership, careers and businesses.

Rather than being at our peak, past our best or on a downhill slide, we can see this as a ‘half time break’ giving us the opportunity to carefully review our beliefs, our behaviours, our habits, our relationships, and our ways of doing life and work as we get ready for the second half. This is the perfect time to assess and, where appropriate, strategically quit things that aren’t working for us so we can travel lighter, stay fit to play, open to new opportunities, and full of energy and possibility for the extra 10-20 years of midlife life our generation has been given.